


Lost And Void

by BrokenBookAddict



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Day Four, F/M, Family, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Love, Romance, Snowells, Snowellsweek2018, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 10:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14999348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenBookAddict/pseuds/BrokenBookAddict
Summary: It's been two weeks and a lot of things has changed. One thing that's changed, stands out to Caitlin and forces her to examine her life.





	Lost And Void

**Author's Note:**

> I do NOT own the flash, I do own any errors found lurking here.
> 
> Written for Snowellsweek2018, day four, prompt chosen- Post Harry's brain reboot.

Caitlin sits in the quiet silence of the med bay, staring at the computer monitor that is before her but not really taking anything in. For all the attention she's paying, the research could be written in gibberish and she wouldn't see the difference. The lack of concentration isn't a big surprise or a new development, she'll admit that this has been going on for over the last two weeks. It's been such a long two weeks at that, two weeks since the team had defeated DeVoe, since Ralph had come back, since her memory of Killer Frost being a part of her since she was a child had been revealed and over two weeks since Harry had left.  
  
The last two, were the things weighing down heavily on her, she still has no explanation for the memory she had witnessed with Cisco when he'd vibe her at her insistence. It doesn't make the slightest bit of sense, to her or to Cisco and she's found no other explanation for it since. The other thing, Harry, well that is weighing her down far more than even she could have anticipated. There's a sudden void in her life, an emptiness that she can't seem to fill and it hadn't taken her long to realise that it is the older man's presence. There are no longer quiet moments between them in the lab where they'd talk of their work, brainstorm ideas for their latest case or ways to take down the now defeated DeVoe. And there certainly isn't stolen moments throughout their busy day where they'd take a walk, heading to Jitters for coffee or to the little sandwich shop around the corner for lunch.  
  
It has been feeling that void that Caitlin has been forced to examine a few things about her life or rather about herself and her feelings to be more precise. It wasn't until this self examination that she realises the reason why she feels the weight of his absence so strongly. She has feelings for him, for Harry. When she comes to this conclusion she isn't at all surprised by it like you would imagine, because if she is being truly honest then she would admit that maybe deep down she had known all along, known when spending time with him that her feelings had deepened far passed the stage of friendship.  
  
Caitlin is in love with Harry and now he's gone... back to Earth two and she has no idea of his plans. Is it just a visit, going to visit his daughter like he said he needed to when he left or is his return permanent, was that moment before he walked away his last goodbye? She doesn't have the answers and she finds she needs them because Caitlin can't hold onto the hope that he would return only to feel the pain when he didn't. That reasoning makes up her mind and makes the decision she's been deliberating with herself. She can't just sit around pining, waiting...  
  
So switching of her monitor, she stands from her desk and leaves the med bay, walking into the cortex to find Iris and Cisco at the main console looking down at something on the screen. Stepping up, she leans against the desk for support and looks to one of her best friends. "Cisco?"  
  
"What up, girl? How's the research coming?"  
  
Caitlin waves away the question. "It's not but I was hoping you'd do me a favour?"  
  
Cisco frowns, "you want me to vibe you again?"  
  
"No," Caitlin shakes her head, "I want you to open a breach for me."  
  
Cisco looks to Iris, sharing a look of confusion. "Open a breach to where?"  
  
Caitlin takes a steadying breath before answering, "to Earth two."  
  
"Earth two?" he aks in confusion, "why'd you want to go there?"  
  
"I need... to see Harry."  
  
"Is this about Killer Frost?" Iris questions, a look of concern on her face.  
  
"It's not about Killer Frost, no." Caitlin knows the questions will keep coming unless she gives them something. "I just need to talk with him about something, that's all."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
Caitlin closes to ignore Iris' question instead turning her attention back to the man before her. "Will you open a breach there, please?"  
  
Sensing more questions are not welcome Cisco nods, stepping around the console. "I never breach straight into the main breach room there when I visit, there's a protocol in place to investigate any new arrivals. So Harry set up a small room just down the hall from his office."  
  
Caitlin nods. "Okay, thanks."  
  
"When you're there, head down the hall to your left, then take a right and you'll find Harry's outer office and assistant."  
  
Caitlin nods, reaching out to squeeze Cisco's arm in thanks as he opens the breach requested.  
  
When she steps out on the other side, her eyes take a moment to adjust to the dimly lit room. It turns out that the little room that Harry had set up for Cisco to breach into is actually a broom closet. Shaking her head and sidestepping a large box on the floor, Caitlin slowly pushes the door open and peeks out. The hallway is deserted so she steps out, smoothing her hands over her check shirt, taking a moment before turning to her left. Her eyes take in the details of the building she's in as she walks, passing by a man who rounds the corner with his head buried in a file. Even from her perspective on this floor alone, the building that's she's so familiar with is a total contrast to this one right here. This Star labs is full of bright light and energy, people coming and going, where as back home, the only people who roam the dimly lit halls of her Sar labs is the members of team flash and their associates. This Star labs is a reminder of what use to be back on earth one, before everything went to hell in a hand basket.  
  
Coming to the end of the hallway she turns right like Cisco had instructed and is greeted with a large outer office, plush yet modern chairs off to one side acting as a waiting area, a decent sized desk the centre of attention, white, modern and sleek to house where Harry's assistant does her work. The assistant in question is an older woman, brown hair turning grey in places, dressed smart yet casual in a black dress. Walking up to the desk, Caitlin stops a few feet away.  
  
"Hello, I'm here to see Dr Wells."  
  
The older woman looks up at Caitlin with sharp eyes, eyes that trail over the bio-engineer in an accessing way. "Do you have an appointment?"  
  
Caitlin deflates slightly at the tone. "No but if you were to tell him..."  
  
"Without an appointment I'm afraid Dr Wells has little time to spare."  
  
Caitlin's shoulder slumped, feeling defeat start to creep in. She hasn't anticipated an unhelpful assistant getting in the way of her plan. "I appreciate that I do but..." she stops when she notices the defiant look being shot her way.  
  
The older woman reaches over for a diary, flicking open the pages and looking down, finger dragging down the page. "Dr Wells has an opening tomorrow afternoon, a ten minute window at 4.45, if you'd like me to schedule you in."  
  
"I'm only in town for today."  
  
Before the assistant can say anything in retort, a familiar voice comes from Caitlin's right.  
  
"Caitlin?"  
  
Turning around, her eyes find Jesse's. "Hey Jesse," she lifts her hand in a slight half wave.  
  
Jesse smiles, bounding over to wrap her arms around the other woman. "What are you doing here?" She asks as she pulls back. "Is everything okay?"  
  
"Everything's fine. I just... I came to see your dad."  
  
"Oh, well. I think he's in his office, right Bev?" Jesse looks around Caitlin to the woman sat at the desk.  
  
Caitlin watches the change that overcomes the woman. Gone is the defiant assistant who brokers no help, instead a smile spreads onto her face, genuine warmth in her eyes as she looks at the young speedster. It seems she had been practicing the assistant version of stranger danger without an appointment.  
  
"Yes my dear, he's been in all day." Bev answers, her voice sincere, eyes looking curious as she watches the two young women before her interact.  
  
"Fantasic." Jesse turns to Caitlin. "His office is just down there," she points to the narrow corridor to the right behind Bev's desk. "It's really good to see you."  
  
Caitlin smiles what feels like her first genuine smile in a long while. "It's really to great to see you too."  
  
Jesse nods and heads to sit on the edge of Bev's desk.  
  
As Caitlin walks away she pick up on some of their conversation.  
  
"How's he been today?"  
  
"He cancelled his appointments and hasn't left his office at all, dear. So the same really."  
  
"Things are about to get better, I think."

The rest of their talks fades away and she has no time to ponder over trying to figure out the meaning of Jesse's words, because she there, standing in front of his closed office door.  
  
Knocking softly on the wood she waits for his permission to enter only it never comes. Her brow creases as she repeats the gesture and yet the same outcome repeats itself too. Her hand finds the door handle and slowly she pushes her way in, the office is nice, very nice. All white, silver and modern furniture. A large table to her left his filled with half built tech, screwdrivers and plans, to her right an impressive desk takes centre stage beneath a vertical wall hung TV, which is silent on mute but showing the news. Finding the man she's in search of is not a hard feat because he's right opposite the door, sprawled along the length of a white couch, an arm flung over his eyes.  
  
She takes in his appearance, black t shirt, jeans and socks, his boots are discarded haphazardly on the floor, looking as if they were just kicked aside. She isn't sure if he's asleep and that question is answered when he speaks, his voice low and rough, almost as if from lack of use.  
  
"I told you I'm fine, Bev. Stop worrying otherwise I'll fire you."  
  
His words make her smile, it feels like forever since she last heard that voice and in reality it's only been just over two weeks but still, she's missed it. "It's not Bev, luckily for you and also lucky for her if your threat is any indication." It's almost funny, watching him startle and how quick he is to sit up. It's at that point she gets a good look at his face, still as handsome as ever except he looks tired with dark bags under his eyes and it seems as if he's forgotten how to shave if the light dusting of scruff along his jaw is any indication. It's nice she thinks, her eyes taking it in, it suits him.  
  
"Caitlin?" he murmurs in surprise, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I was bored, decided a sightseeing trip to Earth two is in order. I mean, the last time I was here I only saw the insides of a forest and a gorilla prison... oh and Zoom's clifftop lair."  
  
Harry rolls his eyes, leaning back against the couch. "Sightseeing aside, what's the real reason for your visit?"  
  
Caitlin licks her lips nervously. _Here we go_ she though and it's all happening a lot sooner than she imagined. Whatever happened to friendly small talk before driving into the deep end of nitty-gritty stuff. She can feel him staring her down, waiting. "I-I came to see you."  
  
"Why?" he questions, his brow furrowed in confusion.  
  
"I wanted to know that you're okay. You left so quickly after..."  
  
Harry shrugs and falls silent.  
  
Caitlin takes that as a sign that things are not as good as she or the others had thought. Moving over to him, she takes a seat on the couch at his side, her hand reaching out to gentle touch his arm, the hard muscle of his bicep under her fingers which she chooses to ignore, along with the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. "Harry, are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine. I mean, I'm back and I... now have this balance between my head and my heart except... it feels different,-- I'm different."  
  
"What feels different?"  
  
"Everything really. My work, I can't commit myself like I use to -- and my feelings, I'm more attuned to them than ever before but there's just this feeling..."  
  
"What feeling?"  
  
"I feel... lost," he looks around the room, his hand motioning around. "I have nothing to do here, now that my mind isn't what it was. Jesse's settled in both her life and her work as the Flash with her team and I-- I don't want to interrupt that."  
  
It's rather overwhelming for Caitlin to be confronted by such an open and honest Harry. It's rather refreshing to see this side that the balance has given him.  
  
"I just don't know what to do."  
  
It was all rather refreshing except for that, the defeat and slight despair in his tone and posture.  
  
"What do you want?" Caitlin questions him softly and she's quite taken aback at the look in his eyes when he turns and meets her gaze. He holds it for a moment before dropping his eyes away, it leaves Caitlin feeling slightly breathless. There had been such an intensity in those blue eyes when he looked at her. Pondering further is cut short when he speaks again.  
  
"Sorry," he apologises but doesn't answer her question instead changing the subject, "so, what did you want to talk with me about?"  
  
So here they are at the centre of why she's come here.  
  
Steadying herself with a calming breath, Caitlin says what she's come here to say. "When you left, we didn't know whether it was just as you said, a need to see Jesse after what you've been through and we didn't know if you were coming back. And since then, there's this feeling like something's missing in my life, like an empty void, I've had time to think and I've come to realise that it's you."  
  
"What?" Harry falters, not believing what he is hearing.  
  
Caitlin ploughs on. "I've come to realise that I have feelings for you Harry and that's why I'm here. I don't know what your plans are, I don't know how you feel or expect you to feel anything but I needed you to know. I couldn't just wait and hope that you'd come back only..."  
  
Whatever else she was about to say is cut off by Harry interrupting with a hand at her nape, pulling her forward towards him. Caitlin falls under his guidance against him, following the pull of his hand as he leads her mouth to his. It's all she imagined it to be and more. His lips are soft under hers, his kiss is gentle yet holds a quiet confidence as he moves his mouth over hers. Her hands fall to his chest, fingers curling into the material of his black t shirt. His tongue is teasing, his teeth nipping gently at her lower lip and she lets out a delightful sound, she could do this all day because my god, the man could kiss. The need of air in her lungs force her reluctantly to pull away, she giggles when his head moves forward, his lips chasing after hers to press a quick peck to her kiss bruised lips.  
  
They sit there together, Caitlin leaning into his side, eyes locked. It's nice and comfortable and doesn't feel a bit awkward. It's just really, really nice.  
  
"So..." Harry cups her face, eyes following his fingers as they trail along her jaw. "Anything requiring your immediate attention back home?"  
  
Caitlin's brow furrows. "No, not really. Why?"  
  
He looks up and meets her eyes. "You could stay here for a few days, see the sights and I could-- take you to dinner."  
  
The offer is so very tempting. "I haven't got anything with me, clothes or money..."  
  
"Your money is useless here and as for clothes, that's easily rectified. I'm sure Jesse would love to take you shopping for supplies." He smiles only for it to falter, "that is, if you want to stay?"  
  
It sounds so good, an offer she can't refuse, so she doesn't. "I do."  
  
"Good, I'll have a message sent to the team, then after a few days of sightseeing, we'll go home."  
  
Caitlin bites her lip, a nervous excitement in her stomach. "Are you sure?"  
  
Harry nods, his eyes soft but his face serious. "As much as I appreciate the balance, you're not the only one feeling lost Caitlin."  
  
Blinking back the rise of tears gathering, she nods in understanding.  
  
"I don't know what help I can be to the team but I feel more at ease there, with you."  
  
"We'll figure it out Harry," she rushes to reassure him.  
  
"We will." Harry smiles at her, leaning forward to kiss her. "Together."  
  
The end.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Any thoughts, good or bad?? One more fic will be along later...


End file.
